there is a tree outside my bedroom window. The next thing your eyes are drawn to is the cluttered, varnished oak shelf in the back left corner of my room. The clothes are untidy because they cant fit into each draw. 3 of my walls are a plain white but the fourth one has wallpaper on it, the wall paper has a cream coloured background and has light pink coloured pineapples. Great writing Shadyn really liked it, I still ant that ps4 of yours though! Right in front of you as you walk in is my blue patterned desk with my small, white basketball hoop hanging above. 3-. Check your spelling and punctuation. The most famous poetic metaphor for love, which we find in Shakespeare, also involves heat. Thanks to those paintings my room has some colour. your story of your bed room is really good i like your volcabarere in it i really liked your story next time you could work on double check your work for spelling errors well done, I really like this Connor! You're spelling was really great, I don't think I found a single error. But quite a fun place to fool around. The only way my room is brightened up is by having furniture with colour. I liked some of the words you used like; zooming, convenient and belongings. Who is the longest reigning WWE Champion of all time? Another factor of how my room can look so messy is because of the creamy white colored walls! 3. It is the largest bedroom in the house it is rectangular and has a built in wardrobe. I suck creamy cock. I think Hannah's story had lots of descriptive words and had good punctuation and spelling. Your vocabulary is really cool, but I think that you could have some more adjectives. you could add some more descriptive words, Angus your punctuation was good but your spelling had a couple of 'i's in stead of a I. The layout and space in my room is the most important thing in my room to me. Posters are another thing people have in their room, in my room I have one poster of a 3D of a coral reef. It is a square shape and it is warm. On the left side wall there is a wooden desk and stool and also a white shelve covered in shells and camera gear. All of this talking about my room reminded me of something, I need to clean it or Ill get banned from the Xbox. the room was as fresh as morning air. Before long, the divide between work and home is blurred, and you can even metaphorically call your home a workplace because they appear so similar. I look up at the ceiling and see a spider in the corner. The room has a big space to go around in and has the hobbies I like.but best of all is to spend time with yourself and always relax after a long day. The lamp rests on a stack of six books that are all ever so slightly faded because of the direct sunlight that streams in all day long through the window. what is commonly misdiagnosed as pink eye. Then there's the senses - smell, sight, sound, touch. The bedroom is a place of solitude, a place to just relax, I spend most of my time either sleeping or reading and the rest of the time is for cleaning, it's not the fanciest but it's mine. Next to my bed is a brown wooden three drawer bedside cabinet which has edges that have been chewed on by dogs. Over all I thought it was great with little mistakes. I have to share my room with my big brother, Sam. My mini drawers has three drawers on top of each other with the middle one being slightly longer than the others. The best bit about our carpet is it is always warm from under floor heating. There are loads of different earrings dangling off of a metal sheet, which is shaped into a dog. I like the way you've used a lot of punctuation in your writing with full stops used correctly, spacing after a comma and capital letters after full stops. Your story was very descriptive and had good describing words. Then it leaves me the curtains, the ugly pale curtains, I would also change the colour of these. Well my room is very messy I hate tidying my room I alway have clothes all over the floor. I, myself, like my room a lot, its not perfect but its very me and its filled with things I love like sport and photography. This was very well edited so there is not to much to say you have done a very good job with very little mistakes. The layout is sort of a P shape without the hole. So I would like to describe to you my own little world. I noticed that most of your words you could spell right. I can imagine the messiness of your room and you used good punctuation and I like the Explanations. Your description was enjoyable to read. Your description was great I really liked the way that you told the reader little extra things about the sub heading. The pattern is bad, It is a circle and 2 squiggly lines that run beside it and keep doing the same thing until it reaches the roof. Definitely need to work on your vocabulary and sentences as it seems to be repetitive. In total I have 9 hats that make my room stand out and the brands on many are monster energy, Billabong e.t.c. I like my room the way it is because I love the view and how it is laid out. When I look out the window I also see the mountains and some time you can see car lights on the side of the mountain when it is dark. Well done, I can tell you put a lot of effort into it. With the blankets layered on top of me that are all different colours. I liked the way you captured the masculine feel of the bedroom. I think your room is very descriptive James, I think you did a good job on this description. Its got a squishy top. My room is VERY messy. Now let me take you on a virtual journey of my own bedroom. My bed is in the corner of my room because there is no other space for it to go. Your vocabulary was really good, you used nouns and adjectives well. I like to walk around barefoot because the carpet tickles my feet and sinks into my toes. Needs work on the punctuation. Next to them I have tall, white draws bulging with clothes. I like the feel, the carpet, my bed and the size of it. There's really not much sound in my room at all, it's quiet and if you're lucky you can hear the animals outside. Below the small window on the left is a nice, lush white desk with a lot of my belongings lying on top. I liked your ideas, you thought of ideas then typed in down on your google doc. You could imagine if you lived in a house with a lot of children that you might feel like you were in a playground at times. But your NSL would be to use a larger range of different words as you have repeated some of the good words. I think its very organised also it makes it feel spacious. Next time just maybe double check spelling. There is a queen single bed covered in a white duvet and patterned blanket in the centre. Great descriptive peace of writing and it really felt like I was in your room. the shape of her room. But when you're the oldest the youngest gets your room when you move out and it usually the best room in the house. You can see the green and purple lettuce growing in the sauna like glass house and the drenched clothes hanging on the washing line. Don't forget punctuation. Emma's bedroom. So I think that I don't really have a style because it just a bit of everything some old stuff and some new stuff. I didn't see any spelling mistakes. Also my bedroom faces east causing it to be cold a lot. It has a stuffed toy pit on the other side of the room as you walk in and it has a shelf above it with more toys, piggy banks, my xbox that doesn't work, my books and other stuff. The house is an old homestead and the wood has a great chestnut kind of color. Overall I love my room just the way it is. On the far side of my room is an old desk that needs getting rid of because all it does is collect dust. On the door it has my name (Will) and other things I made in hard materials. Above my bed there are another three picture that my mum had embroidered for us when we were little. The only errors I could see was that you wrote picture instead of pictures. Except for the Furniture paragraph. The decoration part for my room. Even though my room hasnt got much in it, my room is the tidiest bedroom there. My white covered double bed sits in the middle of my spacious room. Cleanliness is key for a happy mum. I wonder what you would change about it if you had the chance too? But you could be a bit more tidier. My bedroom. My pictures, my belongings, my personal space. Yas finally im home, don't you just love after a long day at school you can race to you bedroom and just chill out on your bed. must suck cock. However some of your paragraphs didn't make any sense. Sometimes I don't even have enough space to use my massive laptop because all my pens and books and rubbish are in the way.I need to give it a good clean. Examples of Popular Metaphors All the worlds a stage, and all the men and women merely players. William Shakespeare I am the good shepherdand I lay down my life for the sheep. The Bible, John 10:14-15 All our words are but crumbs that fall down from the feast of the mind.Khalil Gibran your bedroom is like the inside of your head (simile). My bedroom is exactly the way I like it, there is a chair in the corner which is very comfortable. At the bottom of the bed I have a bright red cover I keep it there just in case there's a cold night so if there is I can pull it over my bed for more warmth. One area that you could work on is maybe not repeating things and making sure that what you say makes sense. Good description Annie. Good job colt. I like the clear description, so it's easy to visualise. However you could of used more of it like putting commas in longer sentences. Here are some topics Im going to talk about, firstly the layout of my room, secondly the lighting then the accessories and lastly the furniture. The accessories on my wall is clean and probably not that safe to be under but i think that i could call it wall art. On one of the walls, near the corner is a little round painting of a light blue owl from my hometown Raglan along with another small, colourful painting of the words I love you. I would say 4 out of 5 for this. It may be the second smallest room in the house but Im proud to call it mine.This style of bedroom works well for me and fits me perfectly. My pillow is softer than a cloud and feels like a giant marshmallow. Next to my bed is a deyou miterfire. But besides from that it is an awesome room and I love it. You could visualize your whole room.The furniture paragraph is very good. No one can get in except for me. I wouldnt mind a bigger bed, though! All my shiny medals from past sporting events and competitions hang next to my wardrobe. The style of my room is perfect. I look towards the mountain it is covered with the blinding white snow. Not quite how I see your room - it is a typical boys bedroom with a LOT of mess on the floor and you also forgot to say that you chuck stuff under your bed as well as the "random drawers"! I hope you can imagine my very much loved bedroom in your mind as if you're there at my house. Its the biggest bedroom in the house and that's why I like it. Things that you need to work on is the punctuation and the length of your sentences. For me and my sisters to fit in our room the room has to be laid out a specific way, but it is pretty comfy. The layout in my room is a very practical layout and is a well organised way to have it. Your punctuation is really good, but you are missing a few commas and had some capital letters missing. MY BEDROOM. There is a big window at the back of the room. My clothes they are placed in piles beside the wall because my dad has not got any draws for the room. It can survive an entire month of cleanliness before succumbing to the fall of clothes and chocolate wrappers. My bedroom is the second largest bedroom in my house, and in this description writing I will describe to you about my bedroom by my accessories, layout/space, color and furniture so here we go. Accessories, accessories are big in my room because I picked them personally and they were given to me as gifts but they are apart of my favorite things. Right next to my bed is a little brown, wooden bedside table where I keep my phone, clock and other items. The cast on 3+. The fresh air circulates the room which gives me a sense of new and relaxation. My room also has a bit of a natural vibe as there are a far few plants around room. My desk is probably the messiest part of my room because of the way that all my notebooks, pens, pencils and pencil cases are sprawled on it. November 2016 1. I have fairy lights that are pink and gold, my desk is blue while my chair is a lime green. There's pillows and rugs lying among my room, worn out posters and books stuffed in my wardrobe. They are covered in all kinds of hangings that make the room mine. Next to that rug is my bean bag which is blue with a flame on it which is also blue. The coziest of It, I'll admit my room is the coziest in the house.and that's how I like, warm covers,warm mattress and my relaxing spot. You have done well to describe your room. Im proud to call the bedroom mine but im going to change it sometime in the future. Make any sense on it which is very descriptive and had good punctuation and length. The blinding white snow the drenched clothes hanging on the far side of my room because there is brown. 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