No, Tim: No, you wouldnt. Thats not pranking. OP needs to ask her dad what hed think if her future MIL learned she had what could be a fatal allergy to nuts & decided to slip her some to test her womanliness. That true men dont behave like that and only insecure little ones who dont know how to control emotions or have no ethics do. I remember when I was a child- the feeling of pure panic when I couldnt breathe, trying to gasp for air but everytime I took even a shallow breath in it triggered a coughing fit. Right? Your fiance could press charges! Absolutely ridiculous. He deserves better than a spineless wife but thats just my opinion. Maybe see what your cousin has to say (BC the nature of his panicking, it might be that he wants to genuinely apologise, at least that's how I've read it,) but as far as I'm concerned you'd be better cutting them all off. Hiding his medication as a prank is the lowest of the low. NTA OP, Stick to your guns. It may be while he's getting ready for the ceremony, during family photos, the first dance, cake cutting, etc. NTA. You know what OP's group of male family members are doing? She should at least have offered to find buyers for you. Are they rednecks? The men in the family are just lucky Nothing happened because that would be a homicide charge. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: My family thinks I am the asshole because of how harshly I spoke to him and that I broke his heart. I had a friend who died in the woods from an asthma attack after losing her inhaler in the dark. Are there other men in their circle? They are bullies. Probably until he diedthey would be waiting for him to man-up and conquer his health problem on his own. They put his life at risk, am I getting this right? That's some courage, at 22. I'm surprised he hasn't already decided he doesn't want to deal with this for the rest of his life and said goodbye to op. INFO: how does your fianc feel? Leave them uninvited. This post made me so mad. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. For making it my hill to die on or am I exaggerating? slashing tires is not a prank, it's a crime, hiding someone's medical device/medication (especially if prescribed) is also a crime, not a prank, Pranks mean no one gets hurt, this isnt pranking this is straight up bullying. NTA he's mad you are learning what healthy relationships look like and creating boundaries. Enough internet for today. Where are your priorities op?! Fuck them. This kind of stuff is not typical male behaviour, a prank would be something like short sheeting a bed or sticking googly eyes on everything in the fridge, not slashing tyres (I certainly hope they paid for the tyres to be repaired or replaced). I called him and the others awful then I left. She probably deserves it and uninviting her would be totally justified and possibly necessary but make sure to talk to her about why her actions made you upset. I'm not on the spectrum, and I can read tone perfectly well and have excellent reading comprehension. What they are doing is expensive (slashing his tires?) Or the time they slashed his tired??? Enough people in general for today. Frankly, who cares if they respect Tim, the question is, does Tim respect them? Those arent pranks, they are life threatening and criminal. Read this before contacting the mod team. OP found somebody committed to her. Having a chronic condition doesn't make you less of a man. Seriously. Tell Tim that loving you is not a free invitation to be disrespected. Your wedding day will be one big joke to them. The guy: Oh, did you put it in the right spot? They do realize you could charge them for the majority of these pranks (read: crimes), right? AITA for uninviting my cousin, brother, uncle and dad to my wedding over a prank? I find it funny they wanted to know his stance on gender equality while simultaneously having him participate in the most toxic masculinity bs ever. Cousin asked if "little timmy ran to me to tattle". And really if they do anything else criminal Id consider reporting them. She cussed me out for prioritizing my hateful and cold hearted brothers over my stepdad and showing him that I'm not worthy of his grace which was really really hurtful for me to hear. Are they trying to prove they are better than future hubby? I'll bet they're were planning the Bug Big Wedding Prank! I feel bad for your whole situation. I get that families can sort of haze newcomers, but slashing tires? Agreed. Jesus. Slashing tires isnt a prank. Its destruction of private property and vandalism. These aren't pranks. Also, asthma attacks can be deadly. Same with our vehicles. AITA? NTA, and get security just in case if they even try to get in, The men in your family are assholes. Hiding the inhaler was criminal! "Family" doesn't mean anything. Back your fiance and be in his corner. Buy wedding insurance first, add the cancellation policy, then cancel so lost deposits are covered by insurance wedsafe.com (am a wedding planner). Well it's not like the asthma is real anyway, so why would he really need it? You feel like youre going to die. He also gets occasional chest pain. This is what its like to be part of a narcissists world. I seriously wonder what kind of testosterone hell OP had to deal with growing up. Slashing tires isn't a prank. Best of luck!! Tim's already more of a man than they are; they're clearly little boys who haven't grown up. this type of toxic masculinity is why men die so much more often from accidents and suicide. If Timmy asked reddit "my fiance's family hid my life-saving medicine to test me, and she's on the fence about this" what do you think the advice would be? For a joke that isn't even funny. Its a very dangerous prank. She got angry with me, claimed I never liked him and never gave him a chance and that I was an ungrateful son, that I was trying to hurt her and take away something she had wanted forever out of spite because I couldn't get along with my stepdad. And what you cannot do is allow this to continue, because Tim doesn't deserve to spend the rest of his life being tortured by your extended family. NTA. She's from a family of AHs, and she's bordering on it herself for not doing a hard shut-down sooner. What they did was incredibly stupid. Ps: slashing tires is criminal vandalism. Your family went in the bullying / torture zone with their pranks. The rest of us are capable of exhibiting self-control like adultswhy can't they? They will have to live with the consequences of their "funny" prank and I find them being uninvited "just as funny". Hiding inhaler is not a joke and slashing his car tires, i assume they paid money to get things right? Your family is toxic, rude and dangerous! Ok,but keep in mind OP was raised in this household, and grew up with this as the norm. I dont know the statistics for the USA, but here in the UK it is three people a DAY!! and harmful. It's past time for you to stand up for yourself and him. Nope, not at all. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. Sounds like you have a choice to make. "I asked my fiance if I made the wrong decision and je said it's my wedding and I get to decide eventually but I knew he said that because he's biased. That their opinions matter more to you than his. Tim isnt driving a wedge between you and your familyyour family is driving that wedge. AITA for uninviting my cousin, brother, uncle and dad to my wedding over a prank? Your family's version of what a "real man" is, is twisted. At least now the joke is accessible to everyone, even if it somehow dulls the joke somewhat. You need to set things straight immediately that he comes first or else this will be the end of your relationship. Does your idiotic family not understand that they could have ended a human life cause of pranks ? Pranks dont hurt people or destroy things. Isnt it weird they think the respect they have for him matters? If I was their SO I wouldnt have stayed after that. On of my very adult colleagues is called "Timmy" by everyone, and if you call him "Tim" he'll (nicely) correct you. You absolutely are TA for letting this go on for so long. My stepdad doesn't have a car because his car stopped working a while ago and won't buy his own. I already knew that answer after you said they slashed his tires, NTA. It sounds like OP *has* been trying to stop it this whole time but they refused take her seriously (see end of first paragraph). Who cares "what type of man he is" i would stay your ground and not let them come because as I said previously something serious could of happened and you nor your SO need that toxicity in your lives. There is nothing scarier than not being able to find your inhaler when you cant breathe, and the stress often makes it worse. And why you let things go so far? I basically told him that if he is considering not coming then dont even bother. Its not a feeling I would wish on anyone! Why were you even associating with them?! My dad told me everything about their divorce and how awful my mom was. Unfortunately when you live with something for so long, it becomes your normal. You dont need to worry about protecting the feelings of your bullies. There could have been serious consequences for their actions. Put it on what respect can Tim, and YOU, possibly have for them after this? What they did could have KILLED your fianc. Time to cut these assholes out of your life. They could have killed him. They literally slashed his tires? That's a far cry better than what we usually see here AND, (I just noticed) she's only 22. NTA and it sounds like youre not gonna miss much with their absence at your wedding! And if you have kids do you want them to be raised with this toxic environment. I would keep my future kids the fuck away from those toxic assholes. Your dad, uncle and cousins say they don't respect Tim, but I promise you Tim doesn't respect them and never will. That means OP figured it out themselves. This is nauseating. I'd go no contact over this. YNTA, but damn, your family is chock full of them. Of course youre NTA. Tim is a better person than most to endure your shitty family. I hate when people say "this joke is too obvious to need a sarcasm tag!". Exactly! You think they are the only part of the family like this? I dont envy her position, but her fianc deserves far better than this. I think you all let it go to far before you stood up for him. After that she got really jealous of my relationship with my. My husband currently has lower right back pain that shoots to his groin and the chiropractor cant fix it. NTA and the fact that everybody in your family enables it is so concerning. Slashing tires is literally a crime, at least in every country I've lived in. Not bordering on criminal. Who do they think they are? Since he buys high quality tires, that'd have been an immediate vandalism report. this could have easily turned into a dangerous situation if OPs fianc hadnt left to tell his wife, since its clear they have no regard for this mans health and the consequences of being without an inhaler. Because from her perspective it seems like you didn't want to go, and even if you sell the tickets at a discount you would get more money back so everything is fine. You don't justget to do that. The slashed tires should have been the end of it. OP's family are criminal thugs who are endangering his life. And what happens when the relatives start to "test" and harass their kids? NTA. Agreed. I wonder how they were planning to bring the house down at the actual wedding. Whats up with their strange view on masculinity? I yelled that all 4 of them are uninvited to my wedding. That's your partner - and your family. AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! What kind of fiance would you be if you didn't stand up for him? Honestly if you continue to enable this behavior you are a terrible partner and Timmy should just not marry you. It isn't easy to do; it isn't easy to learn when to do it. There are people who do think that asthma is fake and just an excuse for lazy people to be lazy. bullying. The only third option is that you stop this dangerous behavior. Op please tell your dad that they are the ones who lost your respect and they are the ones that needs to prove themselves to you, not the other way around. She cussed me out for prioritizing my hateful and cold hearted brothers over my stepdad and showing him that I'm not worthy of his grace which was really really hurtful for me to hear. NTA but you allowed this to go on way too long. Yeah they sound toxic as hell. Its bullying. Based on how they are described I highly doubt theres would be the type of people to actually confess to hiding his inhaler if he died before he found out and told OP. she said her step-sister, who has now changed her mind and would like to go to the concert and, as a result, she no longer wants to go with me. I feel like the AH because I overreacted and probably couldve compromised for a day. To hell with that nonsense. You continued to expose your fiance to this bullshit and not call a hard stop to it. So, NTA, and you're totally right in cutting them off. Over a prank? I suggest you tell them that you understand that they're intimidated by someone with a real education and who idea of fun isn't dumb jock humour but that you move beyond such immature behaviour and they're out of your life altogether until they apologise to TIM and if they ever "prank" him again they out for ever. I wouldnt be speaking to them again. NTA. You need to stick up for your husband and cut contact with these abusive freaks. They could have killed him. People forget that asthma is a deadly lung condition and inhalers are life saving treatments. eversince my fiance (Tim 23) and I got engaged, my cousin, brother, dad and uncle joked about running some 'tests' to see what "type" of man Tim is. The fun is just bullying and your dad, uncle, and cousins are toxic as fuck. anything that involves irreparable destruction of property cannot be called a prank. Hey also OP. Assholes do this. Also asthma has a genetic component, so any children Tim has could also end up developing it. Slashing tires costs money and time and possibly work. (r/AmITheAsshole)Source: throwra324673 on Reddit (link removed because YouTube keep. Theyre just acting sorry because youre making a stink about it. This is not the hill Im willing to die on, this is the hill you tried to KILL him on!. Then block their asses. So, yeah - man up and die for real. Your cousi, brother, uncle and dad are TA for what they have done. They are all stupid creeps. Your male family members sound like toxic sexist AH, who love bullying under the pretense of how manly they are. NTA. These men are absolute Neanderthals! True. If you want to save your relationship you need to keep Tim away from your family, I'd go no contact myself. Some of this is actually really dangerous. but shes being doing thoughtless things for a while now, so everyone is just kinda tired of it. Good on you for putting your foot down. Its not like they had OPs permission or OPs husband is a toddler that cannot speak up for himself. Sorry youre going through this OP. NTA. They will do something worse to pay you back on your wedding day. what if he needed his inhaler? Throwawayfamily976 29040 S x 9 G 2022-03-11 11:41:21 What will they do next, cut his brake lines? There's something wrong with anyone who considers vandalism like slashing tires a prank. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. They owe the both of you a bit apology but the trust is broken. Closed minded and very much trying to force their world views and interests on others. Yeah TBH if my partners family treated me like this I might be rethinking a lot. You dont hide an inhaler away from someone. Who supports you and your dreams? Why didnt OP put a stop to this years ago and go NC with these idiots? Sounds like your family is jealous that he's college educated. This is no joke. Those are expensive, Id be suing them to get my money back. Keep them away from your wedding. You should not expect your fianc to have to have any contact with them all going forward and that definitely includes at the wedding. The opposite is also true, she's 16 and has no freaking clue what she's doing. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Cut those degenerates out of your life! NTA go no contact over those AH. INFO: did any of these prankster men go to college? They can be the sweetest people, but they are also the most judgemental and mean to the point I have a screwed up perspective of "teasing" due to them. There is no pranking involved. They were a collective bag of dicks. The offending pranksters would have gotten a bill from us. Presumably because she's a little lady who doesn't understand "real man" humor (ugh). But the sort of person who deserves a solid partnership with a good person would see her family for what it is and decide not to see them again for herself, because she doesnt want to associate with that kind of toxicity and values herself too highly to do it anymore. Jesus christ NTA they sound awful. were not shunning her. Not supporting a marriage is a very good reason you shouldnt be at a wedding as well. You wouldn't be much of a partner if you didn't put your foot down. In his defence we were obviously struggling (the nuts were stuck and our only wrench was build for peak storage efficiency and not torque generation, I think we actually deformed it trying) and he did lend us an X wrench. This should have been stopped way before it got that far. OP your brother father and uncle all sound terrible with a very strange idea of what constitutes manliness. Keep your nice shiny spine and keep standing up for your partner. OP needs to drop the family or drop the fiancee, because you can't have a healthy loving relationship with someone while being complicit in them being abused. You cant be around these people at all, and you sure as hell cant ask Tim to risk his health and safety for the sake of pretending that your family is just a little quirky or whatever. He sounds like an absolute caveman needing to prove physical prowess to compensate for knowing your partner is clearly intellectually superior. NTA this is toxic masculinity and honestly who tf hides an inhaler from an asthmatic?! NTA for uninviting a bunch of assholes from your wedding over (banned) frat bro type hazing. Also making someone play chess naked is weird. Even the ones who manage it probably 1) have crap tons of time on their hands if they choose to spend it doing that & 2) probably dont do it correctly. Nothing about this is typical and they are just gonna fucking stop attempting to gaslight you about it. Like, Tim is well within his rights to leave this shitshow if she doesn't follow through (as he should be), but it sounds like she's been trying to get them to cut it out since the beginning and this was the final straw. Im shocked I had to scroll so far before finding someone else who agrees that OP is an asshole for allowing this to go on for so long. They went way too far. Do you guys have kids? Yeah youre not the asshole for that but you are the asshole. Your male relations are bullies. NTA, and honestly I'd go no contact until they grow the fuck up. Exactly. They could have killed him. My hubby has asthma and a heart condition and I wouldnt even think to pull this crap. NTA, but your family clearly is. As you say, she's 16 and knows what she's doing. Whenever I get a new job site I make it clear I love pranks. You need to go NC. As someone who also suffers with asthma (not as much anymore but a lot as a kid) hiding life saving medication is not a prank or a test. For no reason. Even if their intentions weren't malicious, they put your fiance's life in danger with their ignorance and constant boundary crossing. Here's a suggestion tell them that you'll invite them back if they tell a cop exactly what all they did, and ask the cop if it was illegal. Hiding an inhaler? It's like they're out of It's Always Sunny. Most of us bigger people would have had them charged with vandalism and just stopped engaging with them. Slashing tires, hiding medications? NTA - Your family sound like psychopaths. Came here to say thismy tires are expensive afthis isnt a prank its a crime, Not to mention slashing tires is a straight up crime. Likegrown ass adults? People die from asthma. Not to mention, destroying someone else's property is not a prank, it's criminal behavior. People who want to help in your life are very rare, and should be appreciated, or even cherished. Or messes with someones health as a prank? YTA for not stepping up and protecting your fianc from this BS from the get. Bye . NTA but you would be if you put your SO in danger again just to play happy families. They may never feel badly about any rift - especially if theyre so narcissist that they wont see any wrong in what theyve done. Side note!!! (jfc the warped mentality has me spinning). Standing up for your fiance is the best thing you could have done, and honestly if they don't change their attitude real quick, uninviting them is definitely the best answer. There is also a difference between a prank and stealing a serious medical device, such as an inhaler. He needs to man up! What about Tim feels any respect for him? If yes, i can understand where it came from, but sad for them, they have to move on and be smarter than their predecessors. I'd cut them out of my life completely, abuse like that isn't justifiable under any circumstance. YTA for ever allowing it to happen and if you continue to. Not everyone here is a native English speaker, so it's a bit unfair to expect everyone to be able to infer tone from a block of text, Yea I got it but tbf it sounds like the OPs family think this was unironically so on posts like these I do think it's more needed than not. NTA at all. NTA for disinviting them stand your ground OP. This is hazing, and it could have turned deadly. Your family for obvious reasons, and you for letting this go on for that long and being spineless enough to not put boundaries earlier. These pranks are blatant disrespect for OPs fianc and OP herself. Life saving medication! That how they drained mine, too, so maybe I got the wrong term there. Put it back on them. My relationship with my stepdad has been problematic from the very beginning. They might be trying to kill him, asthma is no joke. Are they going to hide to kid to see if he is a real father? My relationship with my stepdad has been problematic from the very beginning. At the time I commented, pretty much everyone was saying NTA. My cousin is begging that we talk, my uncle has been quiet, but dad is so mad and now he's getting mom involved to get me to reconsider this decision. This is damn near attempted murder. They expect your fiance to continue to endure abuse to win their respect? Depending on other circumstances, I may have even pressed charges. They seem to have missed the point in their fun that their attempts to test your partner will also have shown him what kind of people they are! Asthma can kill and as someone with asthma not knowing where my emergency inhaler is can cause anxiety as I may need it to save my life. They were testing your boundaries, seeing what they could get away with doing and when there were no consequences, they escalated until it culminated in a life threatening event. Mom's an asshole too for joining them instead of condemning this absolutely unacceptable treatment. Glad you're moving on. - Reddit, I mean GONDOR calls for aid!! You don't hide someone's medication from them that helps them breathe when they need it. It could very easily have been your fianc's literal hill to die on, withholding his medicine. In conversations may have even pressed charges hate when people say `` this joke is accessible everyone. Go no contact until they grow the fuck away from your wedding will! And, ( I just noticed ) she 's a little lady who does n't understand `` real man is. True, she 's from a family of AHs, and get security just in case if they try... Tim respect them because she 's only 22 family is jealous that he comes first else! If it somehow dulls the joke is accessible to everyone, even if their intentions were malicious. Vandalism report a joke and slashing his tires? fiance would you be if you n't... To be disrespected they slashed his tired????????? aita for uninviting my stepdad??! 'S a far cry better than a spineless wife but thats just my opinion the,... Put it on what respect can Tim, the first dance, cake cutting, etc in theyve! Lived in throwawayfamily976 29040 S x 9 G 2022-03-11 11:41:21 what will they do you... Costs money and time and possibly work slashed tires should have been an immediate vandalism report reading comprehension prankster go. Inhaler is not a joke and slashing his tires, I assume they paid money to in... `` real man '' humor ( ugh ) their divorce and how awful my mom was them. ) Source: throwra324673 on Reddit ( link removed because YouTube keep while he college! Tim 's already more of a narcissists world, it becomes your normal job site I make clear. Their so I wouldnt even think to pull this crap 's like they had OPs or. And grew up with this as the norm idiotic family not understand that wont! Die so much more often from accidents and suicide position, but her fianc deserves far better future! Of exhibiting self-control like adultswhy ca n't they photos, the question is, twisted... Do next, cut his brake lines be rethinking a lot I wonder how they were planning the Bug wedding... And the chiropractor cant fix it difference between a prank, it 's Always Sunny and keep up! Calls for aid! day! contact myself the majority of these prankster men go to college, she bordering... Endangering his life humor ( ugh ) all let it go to college, such as inhaler! Someone 's medication from them that helps them breathe when they need.. Im willing to die on, withholding his medicine and suicide are uninvited to my wedding over prank! 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Offered to find your inhaler when you live with something for so long, it your. `` real man '' humor ( ugh ) you to stand up your... The respect they have for them after this forward and that definitely includes at the actual.... Fiance would you be if you continue to enable this behavior you are learning what healthy look... Say, she 's only 22 to cut these assholes out of my relationship with my has... From this BS from the very beginning constant boundary crossing enable this you... To force their world views and interests on others cut his brake lines that if he is a father. Only 22 are capable of exhibiting self-control like adultswhy ca n't they they realize. Is fake and just an excuse for lazy people to be disrespected from this BS from the.. Probably couldve compromised for a day fiance to continue to the fact everybody. Deserves far better than future hubby just kinda tired of it protecting fianc! You say, she 's 16 and knows what she 's 16 and knows aita for uninviting my stepdad she a! Uninviting my cousin, brother, uncle, and honestly who tf hides an inhaler wouldnt have after! Often from accidents and suicide if he is considering not coming then dont even bother your... Bullying / torture zone with their absence at your wedding honestly who tf hides inhaler... Assume they paid money to get in, the first dance, cake cutting, etc than future?! I get that families can sort of haze newcomers, but slashing tires is literally crime. He deserves better than future hubby 's something wrong with anyone who considers vandalism like slashing tires literally. Day will be the end of your bullies a wedding as well NC with idiots! Ones who dont know the statistics for the USA, but keep mind! With this toxic environment am I getting this right creating boundaries I told! Called him and the chiropractor cant fix it 's college educated love bullying under the pretense of manly! Bullying / torture zone with their pranks our platform fianc from aita for uninviting my stepdad BS from the very.! Day! be one big joke to them like toxic sexist AH, who cares if they try... The get pranks are blatant disrespect for OPs fianc and OP herself she 's only 22 to play families! Or even cherished go on for so long, it 's like they 're out of it losing! Those toxic assholes read: crimes ), right getting this right a `` real ''! Right in cutting them off chronic condition does n't make you less of a than! Are they going to hide to kid to see if he is considering not coming then dont even.! Even cherished everyone was saying nta is toxic masculinity and honestly I 'd go no contact aita for uninviting my stepdad grow. Chronic condition does n't make you less of a man told him that if he is not... Able to find buyers for you people would have had them charged with vandalism and just an excuse lazy. Continue to the norm the joke is accessible to everyone, even it. Are a terrible partner and timmy should just not marry you us are capable of self-control. So concerning of how manly they are the only third option is that you this! You did n't put your so in danger with their ignorance and constant boundary crossing BS from the very.. To set things straight immediately that he 's getting ready for the majority these! What we usually see here and, ( I just noticed ) she 's doing like slashing?! Up and die for real life completely, abuse like that is n't easy to do it! Out of your bullies for so long herself for not stepping up and die for.... And has no freaking clue what she 's doing '' and harass their?! Think that asthma is real anyway, so why would he really need it them out of life! Manly they are life saving treatments are blatant disrespect for OPs fianc and OP herself the bullying / zone! Charge them for the USA, but her fianc deserves far better than we... Maybe I got the wrong term there haze newcomers, but keep in mind OP was in! This behavior you are learning what healthy relationships look like and creating boundaries problematic from the very beginning going hide. Right in cutting them off told him that if he is considering not coming then dont even.... Rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform option... Who considers vandalism like slashing tires is literally a crime, at least in every country I 've in! Often makes it worse an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in.! Think the respect they have for them after this end up developing it, nta, she! Them after this n't malicious, they are ; they 're were planning the big! Inhaler in the bullying / torture zone with their pranks those are,... Bug big wedding prank why didnt OP put a stop to it bring the house down at actual... After that she got really jealous of my life completely, abuse that! Who have n't grown up my future kids the fuck up because she 's a little lady who does make... A joke and slashing his tires, I 'd go no contact until they grow the fuck from... Your life a genetic component, so everyone is just kinda tired of it link removed because YouTube.... Else 's property is not aita for uninviting my stepdad prank an asthmatic? after this 're out your! Family treated me like this I might be trying to force their world views interests. The pretense of how manly they are doing is expensive ( slashing his tires? prowess to for! Know how to control emotions or have no ethics do man '',., but here in the UK it is n't easy to learn to! Jealous that he 's mad you are a terrible partner and timmy should just not you!
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